Scripture:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”* — Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)
*“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” — Colossians 3:21 (NIV)
Introduction:
As parents, we have an incredible responsibility and privilege—God has entrusted us with children, not just to care for them physically but to nurture them Spiritually. Today, we’re going to look at how we can raise our children with grace without provoking them to anger or discouragement. Instead, we are called to raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, ensuring they walk in God’s ways with joy.
1. Stop Provoking, Start Nurturing:
Ephesians 6:4 and **Colossians 3:21 are clear: Parents, especially fathers, are warned not to provoke their children to anger. What does this mean? Provoking our children happens when we are overly harsh, inconsistent, or neglectful. We provoke them when we impose impossible standards or fail to show grace.
Illustration:
Imagine a garden you’ve planted with care. You water it and tend to it, but the plants will wither if you’re constantly stomping on the soil or exposing it to harsh elements. In the same way, if we’re constantly heavy-handed or erratic with our children, they will wither under the weight of discouragement.
Biblical Wisdom:
Instead, Ephesians 6:4 tells us to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This is a call to nurture through godly training, showing grace while guiding them toward truth.
2. Discipline in the Lord, Not in Anger:
Discipline is necessary, but it must be godly. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 teaches us to diligently instruct our children in God’s Word, not just when we’re in “teaching mode,” but in every moment—when we’re sitting at home, walking along the road, and even lying down at night. Discipline, in the Biblical sense, is not punishment but correction, training, and love.
Proverbs 22:6 gives us the famous command to “train up a child in the way he should go.” Our discipline should direct children toward God, not away from Him.
Illustration:
Think of a coach training an athlete. The coach is challenging, but their goal is to build the athlete’s strength and endurance. The coach knows that the athlete won’t reach their potential without discipline. But if that coach were to humiliate the athlete or break their spirit, it would have the opposite effect. As parents, we are coaches—correcting, training, but always with love and grace.
3. Lead by Example—Judging Yourself First:
Matthew 7:1-5 reminds us to judge ourselves first before trying to correct others. As parents, we must examine our lives, ensuring that we walk faithfully with God. We cannot expect our children to live in a way that we are not living.
Illustration:
Children are like mirrors; they reflect what they see in us. If we want them to be humble, gracious, and kind, we must model that behavior in our own lives. If we want them to love God, they need to see us loving God—not just on Sundays, but every day.
4. Train Them to Delight in the Lord:
The ultimate goal of our parenting is not just to produce well-behaved kids. It’s to raise children who *delight in the Lord.* Psalm 1:1-6 tells us that the person who delights in God’s law is like a tree planted by streams of water, bearing fruit in season. We want our children to be those fruitful trees deeply rooted in God’s Word.
2 Timothy 3:14-17 reminds us that the Scriptures equip us for every good work, including parenting. The Bible guides raising children who will walk faithfully in God’s ways.
Illustration:
Imagine a compass—without it, you can wander and get lost. The Bible is the compass that will keep you and your children on course. It’s not just a rulebook; it’s a guide to life and godliness. When you love God’s Word in your children, you give them a compass that will guide them for a lifetime.
Conclusion:
Parents, let’s stop provoking our children and start nurturing them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Let’s model grace, godly discipline, and a love for God they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. Remember, it’s not just about raising well-behaved children—it’s about raising children who delight in the Lord and walk faithfully in His ways.
Final Scripture to Reflect On:
I have no greater joy than hearing that my children walk in the truth. — 3 John 1:4 (NIV)
Let’s aim for that joy as we raise our children with grace and uncompromising truth.
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