Dear Reader,
I write to you with a heart full of love, understanding, and a desire for your healing and growth. Your life's journey, marked by the absence of a relationship with one of your parents, has undoubtedly been filled with questions, emotions, and, perhaps, pain. Whether your story has been painted with shadows of negativity, highlights of goodness, or a mix of both, I want to share a Biblical principle that can bring clarity, healing, and, potentially, reconciliation.
Proverbs 18:17 says, "The first to plead his case seems right until another comes and examines him." This scripture reminds us to hear more than one side of a story. It teaches us to seek truth diligently and approach situations with wisdom, humility, and patience.
Many adults in your situation have been told narratives about their absent parent—some positive, some negative, and some incomplete. Lies or half-truths can create barriers in our hearts, while even hard truths, when left unexplored, can leave us stuck in bitterness or confusion. But hearing the whole story can open the door to healing and understanding.
Allow me to share an illustration. A man named David grew up hearing that his father abandoned him. He carried resentment for years. One day, after much encouragement, he reached out to his father and learned that he had written letters every year, but they were intercepted by someone who thought it best for David to "move on." Through honest conversations, David discovered his father's deep love for him and the obstacles that had kept them apart. Their reunion brought immense healing to both of them, and while their relationship wasn't perfect, it became a source of mutual growth and joy.
Another individual, Sarah, sought out her estranged mother only to learn that her mother's absence was due to circumstances of deep poverty and a desire to give Sarah a better life. While it was challenging to process, the truth brought Sarah peace. It allowed her to release her anger and replace it with compassion. She honored the woman who had sacrificed out of love and found tremendous gratitude for the family who had raised her.
The truth, no matter how painful or unexpected, is always liberating. Jesus tells us in John 8:32, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." This applies to every aspect of our lives, including parental relationships. Seeking the truth doesn't guarantee a perfect outcome, but it does guarantee clarity, which brings peace. Whether you find that the stories you've been told are true, partially true, or completely false, knowing the truth allows you to make informed decisions about forgiveness, reconciliation, or simply moving forward with a lightened heart.
I encourage you to approach this journey prayerfully, asking God for wisdom and discernment. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Let God guide you as you seek the truth about your parent. Whether that means initiating contact, asking questions, or simply being open to hearing their side of the story, trust that God will provide the strength and grace you need.
Remember, reconciliation is a two-way street, and not all attempts to build a relationship may result in the outcome you hope for. However, your willingness to seek the truth and open your heart is a testament to your character and faith. Whatever you discover, you can rest in the knowledge that you have sought peace and truth in a way that honors God.
Lastly, if the truth disappoints you, know that your Heavenly Father—who created you, loves you, and knows you by name—will never fail you. Psalm 27:10 says, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me." Lean into His love, which is perfect, unchanging, and ever-present.
You are deeply loved and wonderfully made. May your journey toward the truth bring you closer to the peace and joy God desires.
With love and prayers,
Pastor Terry
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