Note: If this is all I am ever remembered for, I am thankful to have, through my ministry and service to Jesus Christ, offered a powerful Biblically Principled deterrent to DIVORCE.
10 Essential Questions for Couples to Answer Before Marriage
A Biblical Guide to Building a Christ-Centered Marriage
Dear Friend,
Congratulations on your journey toward marriage! Marriage is one of God’s greatest blessings and a sacred covenant that reflects the love between Christ and His Church. However, the joy of marriage is often accompanied by challenges that, if not addressed before the vows, can lead to misunderstandings, heartache, and even divorce.
These 10 Essential Questions are designed to help you and your future spouse address key areas of life with wisdom, prayer, and intentionality. Each question is supported by Scripture, practical illustrations, and my insights from over 40 years of pastoral counseling. I pray this resource brings clarity, unity, and hope as you prepare for a lifelong, Christ-centered marriage.
With a heart full of thankfulness to The Lord Jesus Christ,
Pastor Terry
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A Biblical Guide to Building a Christ-Centered Marriage
Dear Friend,
Congratulations on your journey toward marriage! Marriage is one of God’s greatest blessings and a sacred covenant that reflects the love between Christ and His Church. However, the joy of marriage is often accompanied by challenges that, if not addressed before the vows, can lead to misunderstandings, heartache, and even divorce.
These 10 Essential Questions are designed to help you and your future spouse address key areas of life with wisdom, prayer, and intentionality. Each question is supported by Scripture, practical illustrations, and my insights from over 40 years of pastoral counseling. I pray this resource brings clarity, unity, and hope as you prepare for a lifelong, Christ-centered marriage.
With a heart full of thankfulness to The Lord Jesus Christ, Pastor Terry
1. What is Our Shared Vision for Marriage?
Scripture: “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18).
Why It Matters: Marriages can drift into dissatisfaction or disunity without a shared purpose.
Illustration: A couple without a map will get lost, no matter how much they love their car.
Reflection: Have you discussed your goals, dreams, and spiritual priorities?
2. How Will We Handle Conflict?
Scripture: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26).
Why It Matters: Unresolved conflict is one of the leading causes of divorce.
Illustration: A spouse who holds grudges is like a man carrying a backpack full of bricks—it weighs down the marriage.
Reflection: Do you know each other’s conflict resolution styles, and are you both willing to grow?
3. What Role Will God and Faith Play in Our Marriage?
Scripture: “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1).
Why It Matters: A marriage built on faith can weather any storm.
Illustration: A three-strand cord (you, your spouse, and God) is not quickly broken.
Reflection: Are you committed to praying, worshiping, and seeking God’s guidance, whatever the concern?
4. Have We Discussed Our Expectations Around Finances?
Scripture: “The borrower is a slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7).
Why It Matters: Financial strain is a common stressor in marriage.
Illustration: A couple without a budget is like a ship without an anchor—it will drift.
Reflection: Have you discussed budgeting, saving, tithing, and financial roles?
5. How Will We Manage Relationships with Extended Family?
Scripture: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife” (Genesis 2:24).
Why It Matters: Boundaries with family members protect the marriage relationship.
Illustration: A newlywed couple must build their own home, not live in the shadows of others.
Reflection: Are you aligned on handling family dynamics, holidays, and boundaries?
6. What Are Our Plans Regarding Children?
Scripture: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord” (Psalm 127:3).
Why It Matters: Disagreements on parenting can lead to significant marital tension.
Illustration: A divided house cannot stand, and this is especially true in parenting.
Reflection: Have you discussed whether you want children, parenting styles, and spiritual training?
7. How Will We Handle Intimacy and Physical Affection?
Scripture: “Do not deprive one another” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
Why It Matters: Intimacy is a gift from God that strengthens the marital bond.
Illustration: Intimacy is like a fire—when tended, it warms; when neglected, it grows cold.
Reflection: Are you prepared to communicate openly about intimacy and maintain its importance in your marriage?
8. How Will We Serve God and Others Together?
Scripture: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).
Why It Matters: A shared mission deepens the marital bond.
Illustration: A couple who serves together grows like two oars rowing the same boat.
Reflection: Have you discussed how you will serve in ministry, community, or church?
9. How Will We Handle Temptation and Protect Our Marriage?
Scripture: “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Why It Matters: Guarding your marriage from outside threats is crucial for trust and unity.
Illustration: A fortress with no walls is vulnerable to attack; a marriage with no boundaries is, too.
Reflection: Are you both willing to set boundaries with others and remain accountable to one another?
10. Are We Truly Ready to Make This Commitment Before God?
Scripture: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9).
Why It Matters: Marriage is a lifelong covenant, not just a contract.
Illustration: A wedding is one day, but a marriage is for a lifetime—be sure you’re ready.
Reflection: Have you prayed together, sought wise counsel, and confirmed your readiness for this sacred union?
Final Encouragement
Marriage is not just about finding the right person but becoming the right person in Christ. Commit to addressing these questions with honesty, prayer, and reliance on God’s Word. Doing so sets a strong foundation for a marriage that will survive and thrive for His glory.
May The Lord Jesus Christ bless your journey toward marriage and strengthen you both in love and unity!
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